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Rocky Romance Tip #2: When the Sex Goes Away
...The very first thing to do when the sex goes away is relearn what turns your partner on. You’re both suffering from resentment pile-up, so start at a safe distance, a mere fact-finding mission. If we’re having computer troubles, most of us know better than to just start hitting buttons and banging the screen, even though our frustrations may tell us to do just that. Begrudgingly, we go off on a fact finding mission, try to learn as much as we can about the computer and the problem, assess what we can do, and start fresh. Funny how few of us use this same common sense when our relationship malfunctions.
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Bad, Swing Clubs! Bad, Bad!
Wouldn’t you love to have had a set of biometric readings on Kenneth Starr as the "Starr chamber" interrogated various members involved in the Clinton sex scandal -- or rather, various people involved with Clinton’s member? The readings would go something like this: "You put your mouth on his penis?" (Temperature: woop-woop-woop.) "Could you show us how?" (Pulse: rat-a-tat, rat-a-tat). "And could you describe what you did next?" (Heart: boom-boom, boom-boom). "And then?" (arousal index: boi-oing, boi-oing.) Or something like that. Surely, if you wanted to collect hormones in that courtroom, you could have squeezed them from the air.
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The Love Drugs (II)
...Who knows if women feel more confident in their social skins because of the pheromones, or because of what they sense the pheromones are doing to the men around them. Is it making women feel attractive? (Women have more sexual desire when they feel attractive.) Is it attracting men? Or both, and in what combination? Another thing to consider is that laboratory pheromones ultimately break down and begin to merge with your own pheromone signatures. Everyone’s signature is unique. And researchers find these signatures particularly intriguing because they think these pheromone prints help you in choosing a mate; they’re like puzzle pieces looking for their fit.
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The Love Drugs (I)
Aphrodisiacs -- Spanish Fly, Jimson Weed, Mandrake -- a few drops and your mate’s all over you, or a few drops and you’re fired up like a hot rod on nitro. But not so fast. Most of the more legendary horniness-helpers are actually hazardous to your health -- and in a fast-acting way. True to the rumors, Spanish fly (made of yummy crushed up beetle parts) is likely to make a lady "hot" and give a guy an erection -- but her heat will make peeing painful and his erection will be more like priapism with the bonus sensation of acid burn from bladder to bulb. You are so not having fun on Spanish Fly that sex is the furthest thing from your mind. Mark Spanish Fly off your list.
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Rocky Romance Tip #1
...Let’s take any average couple: they know each other pretty well. For a day or a week they’ve been apart, working, living separate lives. Maybe he’s been thinking, "Damn, my co-worker is trying to pass my work off as his own." And she’s been thinking, "Damn, my presentation seemed flat and no one gave me any feedback afterward, was it really that bad?" If they live together, he may be thinking, "I’ll get home, take a shower, and we’ll have a quickie before dinner . . ." while she’s thinking, "He’ll get home, I’ll let him watch junior while I catch a quick shower. . ." You get the picture. Each person has a different expectation for how things will go when they meet up.
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