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Sexercize on the Sly
by Maris Lemieux
In a restaurant, at a bar, before you and your date whisk off for an evening of passion, you can optimize your sexual energy with a few minutes of exercise.
1) Sneak into a rest room stall and make your clothing as loose as possible. If you have to undo a belt or slip off a tight undergarment or two, go ahead. The risque element will add to the charge.
2) Stand in a "horse stance":
legs wide, slightly bowed
feet planted shoulders’ width apart
knees bent
arms at your sides but with palms facing front
3) Let everything go limp and loose -- wrists, shoulders, and especially your hip joints and backbone. Now, spring up and down from your toes, relaxing all muscles and keeping everything loose. If you’re a lady, your breasts should bounce freely. If you’re a guy, you want your balls and cock to bounce vigorously. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Do this for about 3 minutes, or until someone wants the bathroom stall you’re in.
If you’ve done this for 3 minutes, and no one has chased you out (and you don’t think you’re date has called the concierge to see if you fell in), try one more exercise.
1)Keep the same posture, but start gyrating your hips like Elvis -- slowly though. Picture that the tail bone and all the little bones at the end of your spine are a spatula stirring the air.
2)Move clockwise for a couple of minutes, then move counterclockwise for about the same period.
3)Be loose, easy, relaxed.
When you emerge from that stall, your sexual hormones will be flowing, your genitals and inner sexual workings will be energized. And you’ll be ready for a very powerful night of sex.
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